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I remember when I first started playing golf. Like most new players, I was terrible. Slice right, pull-hook left. I was awful. As I continued to practice, however, I got better. Not PGA tour better, but I got the point where I could eventually break 100. I was ecstatic! I saw a few pars, the occasional birdie, lots of bogies and some 12’s. Not perfect, but hey, I could play.

Then I met Dave.

Dave was a really good player, and playing with him made me suddenly discontent with my progress. Sure, I could break 100, but could I break 90? I asked Dave….”Dave, can I break 90?” He said, “no”.

WHAT??? NO??

Well, he explained that I’d never break 90 as long as I kept the swing I had developed. To improve, I would basically have to start over, get quite a bit worse for a while, and rebuild my swing.

I did that, with great success….I was shooting 120 in no time!

As I continued to work on these new techniques, however, I began to see change….real change, and before long, I was scoring in the low 80’s. It was a painful process, but it worked at some level.

What’s the old saying (alternately attributed to Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin or Albert Einstein)? Something like, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

There are many areas of my life where I need to adopt a new strategy….I need to jettison my mediocre thinking and drive toward something better and more effective. Sure, in the short run, it may get messy. But I’d take a short term loss for a long term gain any day. How about you?

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Like many so-called golfers, (and when referring to my own game, even “so-called” could be considered a stretch!), I was mesmerized by the events this weekend at Augusta National Golf Club. The Masters is one of my all-time favorite events, and this year, it did not disappoint.

First, there was an opening round 67 by the 60-something Tom Watson, and another great round for the 50-something Freddie Couples. Then there was Phil, lighting up the links with his smile and his mad game…at one point, going 5-under on three holes! And of course, all the hoopla surrounding the return of Tiger Woods.

By now you know the story.

Mickelson, whose wife Amy has been battling breast cancer for the past year, showed courage and tenacity to defeat the field, including the embattled Woods.

In many national publications, the story of these two men has been seen as a morality play. Many writers have been clear….Phil’s victory was a victory for women and for all that’s good in sport. In their view, a Tiger victory would have sent the wrong message. (Click on these names to see articles by Rick Reilly and Jason Whitlock.)

In the midst of this drama, many sportswriters are ripping their colleagues. (Check out Greg Doyel and Michael Wilbon.) Their contention is that if you believe all the hype about Phil, then you are bound to be duped…again. Who knows….he might be a mirage, too?

This brings me to Malcolm Gladwell. In his amazing book “Blink“, Gladwell asserts that we often make judgements….correct judgements, in the “blink of an eye.” (It’s a great book….you should read it!)

Now, why does that matter in this instance? Because, frankly, I believe Phil to be exactly who he appears to be, and I never thought Tiger was who he appeared to be. That doesn’t make him a bad guy necessarily…just a guy who is not knowable from a distance. Watch Mickelson sign autographs sometime. He is always smiling, and he looks each person in the eye. His affection for his wife is obvious, and though some would paint him as a phony-too-good-to-be-true husband and father, those closest to him don’t fear him, they revere him.

This blog post is not meant to trash Tiger Woods. I just think it’s interesting that typically cynical sportswriters are being called out by their brethren for believing what their eyes saw. We could all be wrong. Tomorrow, Phil could be exposed as an ax murderer. But what does your “blink” tell you?

My blink says “believe it.”

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The date was June 20, 1999.

I remember the date clearly because it was my mother-in-law’s birthday celebration, and everyone had gathered (as they always do) at her mother’s farm to honor her. It was also Father’s Day, and oh yeah….the final day of the U.S. Open at Pinehurst.

My wife’s family hails from Springfield, Missouri, and her aunts and uncles went to the same high school as Springfield native Payne Stewart. In fact, my wife’s grandmother and Bea Stewart, Payne’s late mother, were great friends.PS

If you watched the tournament, you may remember that there was another drama unfolding – off the course. Phil Mickelson’s wife, Amy, was due to give birth to their first child that same day, and Phil had already stated that he’d walk off the course if he heard she was in labor. The leaderboard ebbed and flowed, with playing partners Mickelson and Stewart both looking like winners at different times. What a great day it was!

Back on the farm, where 30 or so people crowded around a TV watching their favorite son, the emotions ran high. While there was sentiment for Phil, everyone wanted to see Bea’s boy win his 3rd major championship. They reached the 18th, where Payne ended up with a 25 footer to win. When he drained the putt, the crowd at Pinehurst didn’t have half the energy of the living room at the farm. I think they heard our roar in St. Louis!

While it was exciting to watch my wife’s family go nuts when Payne won, it was even more amazing to me to see Payne’s first words upon winning. He immediately walked over to Phil Mickelson, grabbed his face in his hands, and said, “you’re gonna love being a dad!”

Early in his career, Payne Stewart wasn’t known for being the most gracious guy. But he grew up, and on one of the world’s biggest stages, the character he developed over the years gave all of us something to aspire to.

I miss him.